#212 Why We Get Defensive — and What to Do Instead

• In this powerful episode of Menopause Made Easy with Tanya, I explore why defensiveness shows up — especially when it comes to changing our health habits. I share the story of two midlife women: one who shuts down when offered suggestions, and another who can recognize her own defensive reactions and choose curiosity instead.

You’ll learn:

• Why defensiveness is a normal nervous system response

• How to recognize your own defensiveness without judgment

• What’s really underneath the “I already know this” response

• How to use a simple pause practice to move from reactivity to curiosity

Whether you’ve ever caught yourself getting bristly at feedback — or you coach others through change — this episode will help you navigate these moments with more compassion, awareness, and confidence.

 Resources Mentioned:

• Tanya’s Vibrant Living Academy

• Free “Pause Practice” (see below)

• Book a Clarity Call with me [email protected] 

• 🎧 Listen now Spotify, Apple , You Tube 

  https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/0MviOWRBRXb 

  https://youtu.be/GviIlz4SUhM

• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/212-why-we-get-defensive-and-what-to-do-instead/id1661982133?i=1000734157735 

• 🧘‍♀️ The Pause Practice
  Move from Defensiveness to Curiosity

  Step 1: NOTICE
  ☐ My body feels tense
  ☐ I want to shut down or defend
  ☐ “I feel defensive. That’s interesting.”

  Step 2: BREATHE
  ☐ Inhale gently through your nose
  ☐ Exhale slowly through your mouth (x3)
  ☐ Let your shoulders drop

  Step 3: REFLECT
  ☐ What am I protecting right now?
  ☐ What emotion is underneath this reaction?
  ☐ Is this a past trigger or present threat?

  Step 4: CHOOSE CURIOSITY
  ☐ “What if I try this as an experiment?”
  ☐ “What else might be possible?”
  ☐ “Can I stay open, even just a little?”

  📌 Use this in any moment when a suggestion feels triggering. The goal is not to force change — just to create space for it.

   

   If you want to build muscle, improve your mindset and nutrition- invest in yourself and join The Vibrant Living Academy https://www.vibrantlivingwithtanya.com/vibrant-living-studio 

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  Connect with me:

  5 Hacks to Cut Cravings Freebie!!  https://www.vibrantlivingwithtanya.com/5-Hacks-to-Cut-Cravings 

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  Menopause Made Easy Podcast with Tanya:

  https://open.spotify.com/show/7kxh1LQ7Ol7yuoy576PbkF

  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/menopause-made-easy-with-tanya/id1661982133